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November 7, 2016

The dirty 30 turns Charity!

"I want to go to San Francisco on a 5,000 shopping spree for my 30th!", declared my 24-year-old self.

Oh, how it all has changed. 

I'm two months away from the "dirty thirty" and nothing warms my heart more than CHOOSING to celebrate it early, in Peru. You see, I've been SEARCHING for something incredible to do to celebrate. If it truly is "katie-style" it would involve a passport, adventure, culture, and the cherry on top is some volunteer work. When a trip to Peru presented it itself (and so much more!) I jumped on that train. 

What a gift to me it will be! 

This post isn't about the details of my travels, this is about the SWEET little faces in the heart of Peru that will spend their last Christmas in a hospital bed. My friends, I will be squeezing nearly 80 kids who are fighting for their life in the Pediatric Oncology ward at the Essalude City Hospital and the Catholic Hospital in Cusco, Peru. 

While I can't go save 80 kids (wish I could!), I certainly can put a smile on their face. I am traveling with a group of 23 to go throw two BOMB Christmas parties. Gifts, pictures, dancing, food, hugs, laughs, and CELEBRATION for these young ones. I have no doubt they have a lot to teach me.

Gulp. I'm already getting emotional. 

Being a parent myself, I don't want to even begin to imagine the heartache these families are facing. Golly, can you EVEN IMAGINE?!

If this makes your heart do a little pitter-patter, here is how you can help! I'm asking for 30 people to donate 30 dollars (see what I did there?!) for my 30th birthday. Or anything you are willing to donate! This money will help with buying and sending the gifts, Ensure formula that the hospital is in desperate need of, food, and anything else that makes a party a P-A-R-T-Y! Santa is coming to Peru, thanks to YOU! I just plan to be his little hugging elf.

:]

Meet just a few of the sweet ones!



If you've found yourself on this page I thank you for visiting my little slice of the internet. Even if you don't donate I HOPE you find a wee bit of inspiration to do more of what makes your heart pitter patter this Christmas season. Do you even know what makes your heart pitter patter? If not, I dare you to find it and create more of it for yourself. My story has landed me HERE...and HERE, is this very present moment. It's a true joy to be a bit vulnerable and to continue sharing my heart while watching your heart expand, too. I honor YOU, who ever is reading this. 

I'll thank you for these children that don't even know YET the impact you'll make. I also thank you FROM ME, for your willingness to back me, trust me, and support me in all sorts of ways. To my Crossfit family, Crossfit RA, THANK YOU for setting up the fundraiser for these kids. You have NO IDEA how much my heart throbs for you. 

For all the friends, family, co-workers, and strangers who send me love all the time, THANK YOU. Let the adventurous love spreading continue! 

Click below to donate through PayPal and the email is akupofkatie@gmail.com. You can also donate through venmo to @Katie-Gums. Or if you're at the gym,  you can give them cash. <3




August 5, 2016

Goddess Gatherings


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Hi Gorgeous! You asked, I delivered! This past workshop series was a HUGE success! We had anywhere from 5-25 woman show up weekly to invest and nourish their SOULS. My goal was 5 and it was FAR surpassed. You guys, I am SO insanely thankful.

And I'll be transparent about my goal...6 months from now I want 30 girls EVERY Thursday ready to take on the WORLD. I'm going to give you all my energy and all my vulnerability and I ASK you to join me. Life is better as a tribe! (and this can replace those counseling visits!)

Here is what I learned. THERE IS A NEED. There are countless of starving hearts out there. Countless of hearts that want to not only connect but GROW and EXPAND. And I've got the tools and mission behind it to make it happen. Girls night has never been more necessary!

LADIES. This is just scratching the surface of my mission here on Earth. Which is to invite people to be FULLY seen and FULLY loved. Humans need connection, bottom line. And all the little details of my story has led me to be a vessel in this space. It brings me TEARS to watch this unfold.

With no further ado...(is that how you type that?!) I will be hosting Goddess Gatherings EVERY Thursday. Girls, the results speak for themselves!

Here's the break down!

Your first class is FREE! From there on out workshops are $30.00. This includes 3 hours of guided meditations, lessons, connection, speakers, worksheets, you name it!

It really is how committed YOU are to improving your life, growing, and adding purpose. I can't MAKE you...I can only guide you along, sister!

This really isn't about me. How READY are you to change your life?!

(and how ready are you for occasional dance parties, healing, and mind + body + soul upgrades?!)

I know I can help...and gorgeous it's an HONOR to watch you bloom.

Next workshop starts Thursday! Click the picture below to purchase your tickets for future workshops but this week is on me! All you have to do is same I'M IN and show up! ALL MY LOVE!!!

And please share so we can collectively grow this tribe of beautiful souls!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/goddess-gatherings-tickets-26973639883


July 28, 2016

San Diego Girls night Workshop!

Girls! This is for YOU to pump some purpose back into your life! Feel starving for connection? Have a hard time taking time for yourself? Long for connection with like-minded women? Want some purpose to find out who you are and where your swag went? Need practical ways to feel purposful? Want to feel fully seen and still loved? Girlfriend! I want that starving heart of yours. Join me this Sunday, gorgeous! I'm going to get all sorts of vulnerable! In three hours you will have the opportunity to connect, free yourself of past pain, and learn how to instantly add PURPOSE into your daily life. Listen. I know that it feels like to have a starving heart...I see you because I've BEEN her. Not too long ago I was fetal position on the floor SOBBING my eyes out with overwhelm. All in one month I signed divorce papers, gave away my pup, shared custody for the first time, sold my home, and had to find a full time job. I've gone from victim to viking and it's my MISSION in life to help women JUST LIKE YOU who simply crave MORE. It's a safe place and I am so READY to squeeze you. Feel that little tug? Listen. You and only you can create and control your happy radar. But you aren't alone, sister! See you in Sunny San Diego for a night that could change your life! Besos! 
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Sign up with this link:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/san-diego-girls-night-with-purpose-tickets-26826558960

See you there, pretties! 

July 20, 2016

Gimme dat Glow!!!

Oh, hiiiiii there. I've been so wonderfully yet powerfully busy that I haven't just let my fingers go bonkers on the keyboard. And I missed it. So, I intentionally set this time for just that writing in a stream-of-consciousness. Goood lawd, watch out! You've been warned, toots.

I have no excuse to run from it which translates as YOU TALK ABOUT IT. Damn! Let's do it!

Lately, men, woman, family, strangers, and friends, have shared that my "glow" is contagious. They want more. And, they feel so happy for me. They are using words such as beauty, radiant, happy, glowing, and courageous. Who ME?!

I mean, dear reader,...don't you agree?



<insert gasps here>

HA! Beauty at its finest, if you ask me.

NOT.

:]

Okay, fine. I'll turn serious. Maybe. Here's what I gather in this big ol' heart of mine.

It's true!!! I imagine, when you have a change of heart on the INSIDE, your external begins to radiate. I imagine when your heart begins to love everything around you, forgiveness pours out, your mind processes, you FEEL, you deepen all conversations, you sleep better, you move, you pray and meditate, you teach others, you find connections, you mastermind, you say sorry, you challenge others, you LEAN in to feelings.

Y'all, an earthquake type shift on the internal changed the external for me. I imagine what people want more of is access to the same type of shift. All I can say is I was tired of muting feelings. I began to recognize that I was the creator of my life; including the good, the bad, and the painful.

I've never worked so willingly, yet so hard on understanding and loving myself. For me, all your lovely compliments lately are received with such deep love for you all. Keep praying. Keep leaning in. Keep creating and making space to feel. Keep connecting with people who turn you on.

and...

Quit being a turd to yourself. Give yourself permission to have flaws, struggles, and shitty days. Go to bed and wake up early. Eat the chocolate. Move that ASS and exercise. Be super fucking silly. Mute the external and work on the internal. Every second of the day. Find love and intimacy within yourself. Talk to God, daily. Buy yourself flowers. Allow space for creativity. You are NOT a victim. Give your story, freely. Vulnerability is sexy. Talk dirty only to those who deserve that space. Call your girlfriends. Have a birthday party. Ask for help. Always say, How can I support you? Invest. Invest. Invest. Learn something new everyday. Listen to podcasts. Ask yourself, "what do I want to feel"? And do THAT. Wear lipstick. Buy new socks. Turn off the TV. Learn the stock market. Go to Disneyland. Love the plants. Listen to live music. Hold someone. Give. Give. And Give some more. Do not let a crappy day pass without a lesson in it. Be radically raw and honest. Teach people. Do what scares you. DREAM BIG. Worship creatively. Form your own opinion. Dance naked. Send the text. Hug, hug, and hug again. Talk to the clouds. Decorate your space. Sit in silence. Ride the coaster. Say sorry. And just love. Love everything and everyone around you.

Your external can't and won't glow when your internal is cloudy. You, and only you, hold that power. Trust God to give you the messages of how to be in motion.

Well, that's a wrap. I think I won't even edit, or re-read, just to stay in my flow.

Mad love to whoever reads this. I hope you feel my love from where ever you are in this very moment. Your life, your heart,  your dreams, they matter.

Don't you dare fucking forget that.


June 17, 2016

External Vs. Internal WAR!

Let’s forget the foreplay today and go straight it, shall we? 

HA! Knew that would catch your attention. 

Greetings, my bright stars, from San Sebastian, Spain. Can I first just start with saying THANK YOU? If you’re reading this, thank you. Thank you for being on this journey with me. Not the vacation journey, just this LIFE adventure. If you’re new around this block, you are MOST welcome. I greet you with a fat hug and maybe even TWO cheek kisses. That’s facial cheeks, by the way. 

Life is nutty, right? It’s one big fat lesson. IT’S AWESOME. 

If you’re here, I’m going to let you in on a wee bit of ME-perhaps you should u-turn NOW! 

I sometimes think vulnerability is my curse, scratch that, ugh…GIFT! It’s often when I can’t sleep, think of nothing else, and can’t run from it any longer that brings me straight to my keyboard. So here I sit in Spain, heart wide open, after just researching and studying everything from core wounds, neuro-linguistics, and validation patterns. I mean…there has been an earthquake-sized paradigm shift in my life and the only thing that scares me is going backwards. 

I can’t help but go WHOA—what the hell has happened to me? And then I giggle knowing exactly what happened and how thankful I am for my story. It’s really a continuously evolving journey. Hands are up, sugar plum, full surrender this wild child is!

CRAP! I think I went against my own “going straight for it” rules. I yiyi. Okay…cue the music, let’s get it on. 

External vs. Internal. 

That’s our topic today. You in?

EXCELLENT CHOICE!

This has smacked me in the face like a freaking bullet. (I can only say that because, well, I know what that ACTUALLY feels like-true story!). 

Here’s the truth, I’ve realized some areas in my life that internally I’m GOLDEN…you know A+ kind of work. (yay!)

…and some areas that make me a bit uncomfortable…you know…C (orrrrr maybe D) kind of work. 

GULP.

Yep. Let’s just gulp one more time because I just got clammy all of a sudden.

We are going to talk about those D’s! (that’s what she said) I’ve been “awakened”, if you may, to some areas and patterns in my life that don’t serve me well. 

SIDE NOTE —>  we ALL know the overall goal is to feel good. You can’t feel good when you’re creating/thinking/doing in ways that don’t bring rainbows and butterflies to your core. Sounds hokey…I get it. BUT IT’S TRUE. 

In a nutshell, I realized, in certain areas, I relied (yuck!) on the external world to validate me. 

While it’s a little daunting to admit that, I’m totally cool with it. It’s life, it’s human behavior, it’s being raw-and I dig rawness. 

You see, the battle between internal-self-validation and external-self-validation has been a fiery one. 

I started recognizing THOUGHTS-conflicting thoughts. Thoughts that were more focused externally. A few great conversations and a large dose of bravery to STARE at those thoughts helped me understand it, gracefully. 

I noticed areas in my life I was lacking confidence, security, calmness. I was literally afraid. I was chasing, feeling less-than, and SEEKING and SEEKING. A really disastrous hustle, actually. 

I love myself ENOUGH to say it was time to YIELD. Yielding is one of the healthiest things we can do. Yielding + bravery + grace = a killer combo. WRITE THAT SHIT DOWN.

Sharing it makes me take two double shots of courage. WHY? Because the external, and only external, cares what YOU are thinking on the other side. You see, my human flesh is always going to want external “they think I'm good, so I’m good” type voices. It’s always going to lurk in my dark corners. 

That’s just a trap, tribe. Today, I choose BETTER for myself, and I choose courage, which turns on my creative juices, feminine energy, and my badass bones. It feels so much better on this side!

So here’s a breakdown. Often, as humans, we tend to look for the external to fill our internal needs. Reread that.

Let’s go deeper to understand better. Hang with me, okay? Pretend we are having a face-to-face conversation. As you read, I want you to pay attention to the tension in your body you may feel. It’s VALUABLE to your soul work because that is where you DO the work. (and you wouldn’t have found yourself reading this if you didn’t crave some soul work!)

External Validation Notes:

-I am only okay if you are okay
-constantly asking for opinions of others
-looking for security and safety in relationships
-seeking approval and self-esteem through compliments, comments, likes, or looks from men/women
-seeking love to feel “whole” or “complete” or “pretty” or “worthy of love”
-waiting for permission for something
-worth comes from your income, title, weight, and relationships
-waiting to be told you are qualified
-avoiding challenges rather than learning from mistakes
-need to feel popular, busy, or accepted
-feel like life is “happening to you”/victim mentality
-lack of hope
-subconsciously asking the world to “tell you who you are”
-feeling sorry for yourself
-saying “I felt” rather than “I did”

We seek it externally, to feel safe. NEWSFLASH! Being needy doesn’t get our needs met. 

If the external world gives us our meaning, we are diminishing our own confidence, self-acceptance, and purpose. We are in constant chasing, waiting, proving, and striving. 

No really, think about this. I urge you to be willing to look at some uncomfortable areas. These happen unconsciously. I dare you to bring it above ground. 

Take an inventory on the following:

Relationships
Spirituality
Mental health
Health and Physical wellness 
Body image
Finances
Self-Esteem
Job Security
Intentions and motives 

I ask you, what areas are you the most insecure about? THAT is where you do the work. That is your D- work. YEP. I said it. That is the area that you are unconsciously SEEKING external validation for. 

Well, now you are conscious of it so what are you going to do? 

Let me let you in on a secret…JUST by being aware of your patterns, you begin to ACT and THINK with more intention. At the start of every day ASK yourself the why behind everything you are doing…be open to hearing them.

And then…

You stop. 

Stop asking your husband if you look good…it’s not his JOB to make you feel good about you. Just do what you need to do to feel HOTT and he will respond…organically! (I wish I learned this when I was married…ask my ex…I wasn’t good at this! gulp.) 

LISTEN! When you begin the journey of doing what you need to do to be independently HAPPY (which means you take control and start working on the INSIDE) life not only becomes easier, but more and more abundant. You make wiser choices, live in less consequence, and have more clarity over what serves you and what doesn’t. You devoid yourself of all guarantees, which is both frightening and liberating at the same time. I urge you to embrace ALL of the layers, corners, and discomfort. 

You say yes to cleaning and washing out some wounds. You forgive. You approach this with tenderness, NOT shame. You thank yourself for desiring more joy. 

You reach out. Hire a coach. Go to counseling. Detox from patterns. Have conversations with like-minded people. Join a group. Read books. Attend a retreat. Do what scares you. Pray a lot. Laugh along the way. Do ANYTHING other than distract. 

Here’s something that hit home for me. The desire for internal safety, love, confidence, and wellness far EXCEEDS the fleeting and debilitating focus on the outside world. You shift your focus THERE—and your motivation to focus inward comes with ease. It’s literally shoving FEAR out of the driver seat, guiding you towards magnified radiance. 

Guess what? You have power. And grace. and love. and freedom. You still have bad days, a bruised heart, and unrealistic expectations, but, you OWN your life. 

You un-attach from the opinions of the world because you already know your worth. And let me tell you, YOU ARE WORTH IT!

You can look at your yuck and still celebrate your story. You’re not as afraid, far more confident, and attract wholehearted authentic people in your circle. 

It’s called being real—and lifting yourself to be your BEST self. 

You, on the other side of this screen, deserve nothing less. 

Go save YOURSELF from the misery of external-validation. 

And have grace. We are all in this dance together! 

Lastly, remember who are you. 


You are purpose, dear lover. 


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