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January 10, 2012

stillness.

In efforts to be a better me, I went searching.


What is the root of most of my anxiety?



It's been a season of early dawns and pondering dusks; a time of surrender in search of serenity.


Stillness. That's the answer. Stillness.


Stillness may sound easy...to you. Stillness is something I crave and envy; my mind, body, and soul seem to beat at rapid speeds. It takes great effort to be at a restful tempo and maintaining that rhythm is nearly impossible.


Those that know me are very aware that stillness is not a word in my vocabulary. It never has been.


Guess what my friends? It's time for a better me. It's time to learn to be still.


Although knowing all along that rest, vitamins, stress, exercise, and food play a huge part in how I feel, I've often struggled to listen. I've allowed myself to pay more attention to having no time, then creating time. I've chosen to be angry at the problem instead of finding a solution. Only to live a life of surviving anxiety...all by choice. Why am I making myself suffer?


I think we all do because stress is a creep. It doesn't happen instantaneously.  It's a gradual overwhelming cloud that creates such darkness. It's a pressuring artist; wonderful at creating insecurities and vulnerability. Stressfulness becomes a comfort zone appearing as normal. It's not normal. It's not comfortable.


So...


I've been trying to organize my life so I can get more sleep, eat healthy, and have more energy. In my stillness I've realized that it's all the little things that create such chaos. I often feel too busy during the weeks to grocery shop, don't allow time to prepare, and don't go to bed early enough to actually find rest. In other words, I'm living a life of being organized.


I can't climb the mountain over night, but I can take a few steps. I've started one small thing and it's worth writing an entire post on. Drum roll please...a weekly meal planner! I spent nearly one hour searching for recipes that were not only easy but tasty and healthy...for the week. I wrote down all the items I needed to buy, what we would be eating each evening, and drove my happy ass to the grocery store. I never knew how much blahness (so not a word) trickled from my disorganization. I've been excited to cook, haven't had fleeting moments of starvation, and have so much more energy. Oh, and saved money. Score!


By doing this, it's created a little more stillness and a happier husband.


Check out this lovely lady at www.theprojectgirl.com for free downloads.



God tells us to be still.


Don't you think it's time to listen?


Find quietness today, don't wait for tomorrow.


K.

4 comments

  1. You're becoming quite the wise woman. Your awakening to the benefits of being still, is an answer to a thousand prayers prayed in your behalf. I love you, Mom.

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  2. Thanks for your unconditional protection.

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  3. it was so nice seeing you with your coffee all by yourself the other morning. keep it up, sis!

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