December 3, 2012

Caution Forward...

WARNING: some material may not be suitable for children or the weak stomach. Contains sexual content and inappropriate language. 

Consider yourself warned.


Okay. Let's talk the real deal.

 Please REMEMBER that I am overjoyed about being pregnant. I feel truly blessed to be given this opportunity and am not taking this experience for granted. I know this is an incredible opportunity that I am fortunate to experience!

HOWEVER, this whole process, and somebody needs to get REAL honest.

This whole first trimester thing is SURVIVAL MODE.

No one really tells you how difficult the first three months are!

I think that people forget, which I will gladly be happy if that happens, which is why they don't really talk about it.

Or they are just bi*ches and weren't sick, and tired, and totally hormonal.


The books tell you your nipples will change, constipation and migraines are normal, and exhaustion should go away .

I'm calling bullsh**.

There is nothing normal about these last three months.

The other night I hear, "Babe, your nipples are so dark!" with laughter and fascination all in one.

What is normal about that? 

And the constipation? I'm sorry but why is that necessary?

It can't be healthy and let me tell you its miserable!

Mixing wacky hormones AND infrequent bowel movement is not a good combo...for anyone.

On top of it when your body does decide to release it becomes explosive. NOT OKAY.

HMMM what else?

OH the complete narcoleptic symptoms.

Right. Being tired after a week of work is one thing.

Sleeping on your lunch break and wanting to sleep AT ALL MOMENTS OF THE DAY is another. Good luck you wanna-be preggos!

How could I forget the dreams?

I had a dream that I was swimming in the ocean searching for human feces to eat. I found them, ate them, and searched for more. I loved the poop. LOVED IT. Then, I saw a cruise ship and climbed up the side to a terrorists bedroom...naked.


I woke up sweaty, confused, and terrified to fall asleep again. EVER.

I felt better after talking to another friend who said she dreamt she had sex with the Beast from Beauty of the Beast and her child came out a beast child.

I'm not sure which is worse.

Danielle, your handsome boy is far from beastly.


Clearly nauseousness is a "normal" pregnancy symptom.

What the heck is normal about feeling like you want to vomit 24/7?

Apparently because it's normal it is supposed to be easy?

HELL NO. It's awful, really.

The hormones. Perhaps the MVP should step in here.

I'll be the first to admit that I've had several irrational moments.

HOWEVER, it's out of my control. I swear!

One minute your crying from joy and the next you have ridiculous road rage at the person who LET you in the lane.

The good, the nice, the mean, everyone is annoying and then everything is beautiful.

It doesn't make sense.

Hopefully you choose someone who is VERY patient. VERY.

Food aversions.

All the food that was normal is now the worst thing ever.

How do everyday foods, like lettuce, suddenly become the arch-nemesis to my nasal passage and tummy?

Why is that?

I was pretty structured with my meals, especially being gluten-free.

It's thrown me for a total loop trying to find foods that actually sound and taste appetizing.

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to eat broccoli again!

And for the last AND the worst, the worry.

Perhaps its because I'm a first time mommy but I've been so panicked this first trimester.

I've heard so many miscarriage stories... I was convinced I was going to miscarry.

Every cramp, ache, or weird feeling was accompanied by extreme nerves.

Everyone (except a few) were telling me to wait until 12 weeks to share that I was pregnant because something could happen.

I understand, it was out of protection.

What I was hearing though was "don't be excited because the percentage of miscarriage is really high and you could too!"

I felt like I was emotionally preparing for something that MIGHT happen. I was suffering twice, as my Mom put it.

AND, three months of not sharing this news and pretending life was normal was tormenting...and not normal.


We told many close friends and family before we went public and it was VERY refreshing.

If something were to happen we would have dealt with it then.

My best advice to others is to tell people when you feel ready. Don't rush it, but don't hold back either. It's the most exciting news and is meant to be shared! Build a good support group that will comfort in the good and the bad. But remember, more people don't miscarry. Don't assume it will be you because there is no point to suffer twice. And remember to PRAY AWAY YOUR WORRY.

Alright. I could go on with many more but guess what? I'm tired.

I'm so thankful for readers who laugh with me and appreciate my sense of humor honesty.

I'm also so thankful my first trimester is OVER!!!

I hope all you mommas come forward and share with me your funny stories.

It makes me realize that this life really is's just my new normal.

Baby inside, your worth all of this! You've already turned our world upside down and we feel so blessed. Mama loves you!




This is a few weeks old but a good first trimester picture!


  1. Kates, your blog is so refreshing to read. Being a Nurse, I am terrified to get pregnant because I know WAY too much about what happens to your body. I hope your second trimester is much nicer to you. :)

  2. Ok Katie, I really had to leave a comment this time! I am so overjoyed to hear that our "honeymoon" group is all expecting at the same EXACT time! Such exciting adventures we all share. Congrats :) I just have to say I LOVE reading your blogs. You're such an honest and genuine person and I really take all of your blogs to heart. I especially love your pregnancy blogs. It's comforting to know that such an all around upbeat person is going through such misery - no offense, I just wanted to prove Mark wrong & confirm that being pregnant is EXTREMELY difficult, not just for his typically moody wife. Unusually, I have had an extremely easy pregnancy (knock on wood.) I never had any morning sickness, and I was only tired during the 1st 9 weeks or so. Other than being tired, I couldnt even tell I was pregnant. No food aversions, no nausea, no constipation - until now! I screwed up my vitamins and it's completely jacked up my stomach. I am SO miserble, but hoping this shall pass within the next few days.....I am so sorry you are having a rough time. I truly hope this will get better very soon for you - but like you said, it's all worth it. I do get very emotional - I watched a video on facebook about a flash dance Christmas Carol in a mall and started's just an incredible thing that he has blessed us with. I can't believe he has chosen to give us a baby. What an honor and a blessing. Take care and keep us posted!

  3. Oh Katie! Lol your pregnancy sound like the way I was with mine! Isn't it so wonderful.... Not!! Lol and the whole statement about "oh your so beautiful you are absolutely glowing" well I never saw myself that way. I had a hard time finding that glow. Sure I was elated and felt extremely blessed to have such a wonderful miracle growing inside me.... But really God did you have to make pregnancy symptoms sooooo sucky? There will be moments to come that get better but I'd be lying to you if I told you that the up coming trimesters didn't have new whirl wirnds of their own coming. The first and guitars trimesters are the worst but in their own ways of course. The second one wasn't terrible. You get to feel your lil one move... You aren't as tired... You aren't as big as a house yet so you are still sleeping decent and aren't too uncomfortable. So enjoy these next couple months if you can!! But honestly bottom line, which I know you already have an idea of is... They are totally worth it all!! That will all mean a lot more once lil baby Gums arrives for you, you will never feel so much love in one moment of your life as the moment you really first meet and lay eyes on the precious gift you carried inside for so long!! Congrats Kates! You can do this. F

  4. It cut me off lol. I was gonna say feel free to contact me anytime. I've got lots of pregnancy stories that will make you feel normal. I am NOT 1 of those women who say oh I never had a symptom I love being pregnant. I love my babies BUT I do not love being pregnant . look forward to hearing more soon take care- Nina.

  5. Ummm.. first let me say you are not alone!! I have now gone through the first trimester TWICE!! I'm insane!! I swore I would never do any of it again after I had Audrie, yet here I am 17 weeks into number 2. I will tell you It is not that you will "forget" how horrible it was it's just that the GREAT things that come after the baby is here by far outweigh the TERRIBLE you go through to get there. And just wait until the third trimester there is a whole new bag a fun!! Weird discharge, aching hips (and feet, and back, and well...everything!) plus false labor. YAY! Then there is real labor..and some people say that doesn't hurt either!! My baby girl took 21 hours to make her entrance into the world...21 very painful hours...even with an epidural for the last 6 of them. And I didn't want an epidural at all!! lol! I promise it is all worth it. I'm already ready for this pregnancy to be over..because I know its the last time I'm will be doing it...unless God has some really big plans in store for us. I envy those women who have no pain or nausea or disgusting symptoms during their pregnancy, but I can tell you they are the minority. Most of us go though it just like you are!! Just remember you are not alone, and you are going to get the best gift of your life at the end of it all. Then you get to find out about this whole parenting thing!! Which is not always a walk in the park either..BTW, but you will NEVER love anything more :)

  6. Jennifer, you tell Mark this pregnancy stuff is no joke! Matt was much less supportive last time. I guess seeing me completely miserable twice convinced him I wasn't making it up the first time. Hang in there ladies! At least we have each other :)

  7. Ashlee albright JensenDecember 4, 2012 at 6:23 AM

    So excited for you! Pregnancy is the dumps! I have a blog post from my first pregnancy called "what they don't tell you" and it's about this exact same thing. I know now that it's not a big conspiracy to not talk about how horrible pregnancy actually is, it's that there's too much good stuff to talk about when baby's here. And if we're being honest, the more you have the wore it gets. There's no more resting when you don't feel good, instead you have little ones who need you 24/7 and don't care that you feel like crap and just want to sleep on the bathroom room :). And your body and boobs (yuck). But it's all so worth it. You will appreciate your little one so much more because of it. It gives you that bond with him that no one else has, not even daddy. Being a mom is the absolute best but comes with the absolute worst! Your going to be such a good mommy, lucky baby!!

  8. HAHAHAHA!!! I was just reliving our San Fran to Beijing conversations for Michael as I read this to him. At least when I get preggo I'll know who will be able to honestly relate!! Love you, girl!

  9. Yikes I can't believe I never replied to this! Thanks for commenting! You were my LIFE SAVOR on that flight... I hope we see each other again!! Like soon!

  10. Ashlee, thanks for commenting! I'm sorry I didn't reply SOONER! I LOVE all your pictures and your adorable family. I'm so happy other women can relate... Makes me feel more normal! Please, any advice for me... I'll listen!

  11. Thanks for ALWAYS offering encouraging words. I appreciate your LONG friendship :)