April 3, 2014

Digesting Hopespoken...

I suppose I've been avoiding this post because it overwhelms me.
 I've been absolutely exhausted ever since I returned, all for good reason, but I'm POOPED.
(and Ireland randomly woke up 4 times last night!)
But, I'm used to tired now.


I feel as if I've returned with so much and I truthfully don't even know where to begin. 

Let me start here. 

I'm so broken and busted. 

I cry, struggle, fight, worry, and envy. 

I have some really ugly days. 

I'm never going to be good enough. 

And you know what? 

That's what GRACE is for. 

I know I show mostly happy things in my life on social media and my blog but that doesn't mean I don't carry the same burdens and hurts as the rest of the world. 

I don't like to reveal all my junk because it's private BUT that doesn't mean I don't have junk. 

Are you still with me?

You know what I find beautiful? 

We all have junk. We are all bruised and busted. We all struggle.

BUT, we all have God's GRACE to cover us. We all should be gifting and receiving grace to others. We should also be having grace on ourselves. 

"Holding ourselves to perfection, or comparison, is slavery." - Jamie Nato

I LOVED this quote from a lovely speaker this weekend. 

Isn't it so true? As much as I love instagram, it can be a trap for unsettling feelings. It can be a trap for comparison. So tread lightly, my friends, and stop feeling inadequate. Just end it now. 

God is enough.

Let that marinate, my friends.

God is enough, no matter what

"The only way I can handle my anxiety and worry is knowing that if I lost everything and everyone that I love, God would still be enough." - Casey Wiegand 

Again, this spoke to me this weekend. I struggle with always worrying about the "what ifs" in life. This weekend was such a reminder to cling to God. CLING. Because life is going to be stormy, life will be hard, and life will bring trials. BUT, God is enough. God is bigger than any of our worries. There's no need to fear the unknown or the suffering because no matter what God is enough for us. 

I find freedom in knowing that. 

If you're unsure of that, pray. Just take time to pursue your doubts. 

Lastly, REST. 

Shauna Niequist, author of Cold Tangerines, Bittersweet, and Bread and Wine, spoke about living an Anti-Frantic life.

Anti-Frantic, do I know such a thing?

She stressed the warning words in our vocabulary: SHOULD, CAPABLE, BUSY.

ALERT! Those are warning words.


Warning you (and me, and herself) against living a frantic life.

Don't fret though!

Prayer + Rest + Self-care = more love, less hustle 

She speaks much better than I can write but it was profound and spoke straight to my self-made busy life.

Hopespoken was such a beautiful mess of emotions. It was so refreshing to take the time for myself. I didn't sleep much but I prayed a lot. I wasn't shuffling over baby toys or forcing in a workout BUT I was hearing stories of brokenness, grace, and love. The one thing all 250 women had in common? A desire to feel loved by Jesus, whatever that looked like. I met some pretty incredible women who loved on me, shared their stories, and continue to still bless me.

You know what it wasn't? A place to be perfect.
Perfection was preached.
Grace was.
That is my kind of perfect.

Thank you to my generous and loving husband for graciously watching our little. Your love is my true favorite. To my in-laws for also watching Ireland, I can't thank you enough. Not only for loving on my girl but for being happy for me and interested in my life. I am so blessed to be a part of your family!

I didn't know where to start this post and apparently I don't know where to end it!

I don't really care though, it's raw and real.

There is more insight I want to share but I'm way too exhausted. Many of you have asked how my trip was and I thank you for that!


When I feel like sharing more, I shall.


1 comment

  1. Love this. So thankful you joined us. And you are the cutest thing too, by the way.