October 9, 2015

The Perfectionism CURSE!


It's a CURSE, I tell ya!

It's a really powerful shift when we truly believe we are enough. I've been diving in heavily to Brene Brown's "Daring Greatly" book...holy shit it is rocking my socks off. No, seriously.

Anyway, she is best known for her TED talk on vulnerability and she has SO much to say about the power in being

In the book, I've highlighted pages and pages regarding the connection between shame and perfectionism. Such good stuff.

Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and unworthy of love and belonging.

Don't you dare put yourself in a corner thinking you don't carry shame. WE. ALL. DO.

Please, be vulnerable to admit it, otherwise, you are doing such a disservice to yourself.

Here's the thing, we have zero problem believing that other people are enough, as is, but WHY do we unconsciously waste energy feeling inadequate? And really, it boils down to shame. The areas we try to be perfect at, are the areas burdened and chained by the most shame.

Ouch. So true.

Healthy striving is asking: how can I improve?
Perfectionism is asking: what will they think?

Chances are you are on the the perfectionist side and don't even realize it. When we experience pain, shame, or blame...we often feel not good enough. We often operate and live feeling like we don't know enough, we aren't skinny enough, we didn't work hard enough. OR, we did EVERYTHING we possibly could...but its not enough. We literally program ourselves to operate at a perfect level...and we all know that is impossible. The Bible clearly laid it out for us...we are flawed humans and we always will be.

Isn't there freedom in knowing that? YES!

Perfectionism stifles the creative, soulful, art of our being. We aren't even conscious of how hard we are on ourselves and how worried we are about what the world thinks of anything and everything we do.

What if we channeled that same energy to what we think of ourselves in our internal world rather than the external world?

Are you willing to set yourself free?

I'll be the first in line. This takes vulnerability. This takes conscious thinking. This takes practice and effort.

In my life, I wanted perfection. With wanting perfection, comes expectations. We all know expectations are the ROOT of all disappointment. What a painful and difficult lesson to learn! The crazy part? All of this occurs deep within our subconscious. We mistake trying to maximize our potential with EXPECTING perfection. From ourselves and everyone around us, too. Ouch, again.

Did you notice I mentioned the word, LESSON? Everywhere we turn there is a lesson. I'm hooked on becoming the strong woman I want to be. A woman who is willing to allow safe people to see my cracks. A woman who recognizes perfection is an absolute curse to relationships, worthiness, and our joy and wants nothing more than to master the art of loving my imperfections.

We are flawed humans. I am a flawed human. So, now what?

Start with the number one action steps! It's this simple: if you want to love yourself, your life, and your tribe of people better...ask yourself the tough questions. Spend the time INVESTING in your thoughts...the only person in your way is YOU.

Today...I accept the woman that I am.

...and I love her.

PS! Share this with one person you think may need to break the curse...we need more self love in the world!