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October 20, 2015

Tough conversations

We've all had those feelings of yuck in our bellies.

Those feelings of knots and aches and ridiculous amounts of wanting to throw up over nerves.

This leads me right in to the topic of...drum roll please...tough conversations.

This weekend I successfully had some tough conversations and let me tell you...they felt GREAT. You want to know why it was so great? Because I had to talk about my ugly. The actions, behaviors, thoughts of mine that don't serve me, that hold me back, that sabotage relationships and self love.

It. Was. Not. Easy.

You see, the conversations we tend to avoid are the conversations that provide the most growth. They typically have a few prerequisites...vulnerability, vulnerability, and more vulnerability.

There are three things that were difficult. 

1. Being honest enough with MYSELF to even see areas of my life that aren't serving me. This took is taking, reading, practice, and being intentional about learning. 
2. Expressing it without expecting ANYTHING other than freedom from my own heart. I mean no expectations from the receiving end. NONE!
3. Being truly okay with ANY outcome of the tough conversation. 

Feeling safe to have tough conversations is essential...but guess what? WE CAN'T CONTROL THE OTHER PERSON.

Ahhhh....thank God. I can hardly control my own emotions and actions and now I'm going to try and control the feeling of someone else?

Yes, usually, we do that. That is why I mention the difficult part is not attaching to the outcome of their feelings or their response...that is THEIR responsibility. Amen, hallelujah, praise Jesus...I can only control MYSELF, my feelings, my responses, my vulnerability, MYSELF.

There is an abundance of freedom wrapped in this very topic. Freedom to love ourselves and our flaws. Freedom to grow and expand and share that growth with those we treasure. Freedom to be authentic and honest enough to become better, stronger, wiser, and healthier.

So I ask...what tough conversations are you avoiding?

Why? I dare you to be courageous and vulnerable enough to pursue YOU soooooooo much that you will go to the scariest, tummy-in-knots places for YOURSELF.

You will grow in those places.

I will warn you though, it won't go well if you focus on the other person. Be honest enough to talk and discover YOUR end of whatever ugly you're struggling with. Do NOT dare to make the mistake of focusing on someone elses ugly. Its not YOUR job to reveal that, focus on that, or entertain those ideas.

Spend the rest of your life being committed to YOUR vulnerability, bravery, courage, and commitment to showing up the BEST YOU.

This requires tough conversations with yourself, first, then those you feel led to share it with.

That is where the growth happens and let me tell you...it is powerful.

Get readin', get talkin', get vulnerable!

xo.




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